If your toddler is still feeding multiple times through the night, you will fit into one of two camps….
🙋♀️ I’ve tried not feeding she just screams until I end up giving her the boob 😭
🙋♀️ What if I stop and I have removed the quickest and easiest way to get him back to sleep 😰
The good news is that night weaning doesn’t have to mean cry-it-out, you don’t have to go cold turkey if you don’t want to, you can go slow, and you can absolutely give your child comfort throughout!
I am going to give you some amazing tips in this blog post, but if you want my exact step-by-step process rather than trying to piece it together yourself, my 5⭐️ Gentle Night Weaning Toolkit walks you through exactly how to do it.
Why Is My One Year Old Still Breastfeeding So Much at Night?
I have an incredibly important message for you today - you did not cause your child to wake contantly to feed.
When a baby falls asleep breastfeeding, and they wake they will look to breastfeed back to sleep, it is naturally their preferred method of settling back to sleep, in fact for mums that do not stop feeding to sleep, and choose to feed to sleep, and feed back to sleep and be led by their child, the average age a child naturally weans is 2-7 years.
Makes the change to stop feeding to sleep, and to night wean, is the one change that makes the biggest difference to sleep in children over 12 months.
Children naturally move between sleep cycles overnight.
If breastfeeding has always been the way your child gets from one cycle into the next, they may start looking for the same support every time they stir.
That can mean:
waking every 1–2 hours
immediately searching for the breast
becoming upset if you try to settle another way
feeding for only a few minutes before falling back asleep
bed-sharing because it feels easier than getting up repeatedly
feeling as though you are breastfeeding all night
This is why night weaning isn't simply about removing milk.
You are helping your child learn another way to feel safe and supported back to sleep.
The Mistake’s I Often See Parents Make With Night Weaning
You are having a really bad night, and at 2am decide I am not feeding any more.
You try to rock or cuddle them, and they are screaming and screaming, and you end up feeding after an hour of hell.
When I wean a toddler, I spend a week preparing them for this process, and this preparation is the key to success
Putting gentle boundaries in during the day
Optimising meals and feeds in the day
Introducing night weaning tools such as books and conversations and specific language
Getting their daytime routine optimised
Which i go through step by step in my Night Weaning Toolkit
How to Gently Night Wean Your Toddler
There are a few foundations I look at before reducing feeds.
1. Prepare Your Child
When I wean a breastfed toddler, I spend a week preparing them for this change
Making sure the daytime routine is perfect
Introducing some gentle daytime boundaries
Toddlers understand far more than we sometimes realise.
Start talking about the change before you make it.
You might begin using simple language such as:
“Milk sleeps at night.”
or:
“We can have cuddles when you wake up.”
Books about night weaning can also help toddlers understand what is coming.
You can find this step by step process in my Night Weaning Toolkit
2. Separate Feeding From Falling Asleep
If your child breastfeeds completely to sleep at bedtime and at every wake, removing overnight feeds can feel like an enormous jump.
Instead, start creating a little separation between milk and sleep.
For example:
feed → pj’s → story → cuddle → sleep
You don't necessarily need to stop feeding to sleep overnight immediately.
The aim is simply to start introducing other ways of settling alongside breastfeeding.
3. Choose An Approach
The approach needs to work for you, and this is dependent on your child’s temperament, your capacity for change, your child’s feeding pattern
For some cold turkey will work best, for others a slower approach
I discuss this at length and guide you based on these patterns in my Night Weaning Course
For example:
“Milk comes after 11pm. I can cuddle you until then.”
Your child may be frustrated by that boundary.
But gentle parenting does not mean your child can never be upset.
You can hold a boundary and comfort them at the same time.
What If My Toddler Screams When I Try to Night Wean?
This is one of the biggest fears parents have.
And understandably so.
Your toddler may cry or become angry when something they have relied on suddenly changes.
Crying is a normal way for a toddler to express frustration, and you have to be prepared for big emotions!
There is an important difference between leaving a child alone to cry and sitting with your child while they express frustration about a new boundary.
You can cuddle them.
Rock them.
Talk to them.
Lie beside them.
Hold them.
Comfort them.
You are not removing reassurance.
You are changing how that reassurance is provided.
What If My Toddler Still Wakes After Night Weaning?
This is important.
Night weaning does not automatically mean sleeping through the night.
If your toddler is waking because of:
their sleep schedule isn’t quite right
environmental factors
another strong sleep association
This is why I offer a full module on routine, and a bonus module on independent sleep in a cot and floor bed in my Night Weaning Toolkit
A Real Client Story
Meet Katie + 12 month old Sam
One mum came to me with her son was 12-month-old who was breastfeeding almost every time he stirred overnight, he often slept latched on. And barely ate any solid food. She had no idea how to get him to not feed, and to eat in the day.
We firstly prepared his body with routine changes, and then gradually introduced other settling methods and reduced the reliance on feeding rather than abruptly removing it.
Within around 10 nights, he was able to settle with cuddles instead of breastfeeding and his wakes had reduced significantly to 1 sometimes 2 brief wakes.
Need Personalised Help?
Weaning is an incredibly emotive change, when a mum works with me 1-1, it is because she needs someone to not only form a plan tailored to her, and her child, but because she needs heavy amounts of emotional support.
And this is the part of my job I love
I have been the mum who did not have this, and I have made this my lifes work.
My Full Consultation Package see every mum walk away with a child sleeping well at night, who got to wean in a way that feel right for them.
You can read the wonderful reviews here .
You can click this link; and book a chat and if you have any questions before booking 1-1 support with me.
